Changing the Climate in Your Home

Notes from Lynita Williams’ Mother’s Day message

Today is Mother’s Day. I have been a mom for 21 plus years. And, as a Christian mom I want to raise my children in the beauty of who God is and how very much He loves them.

We are in a series this month called Climate Change, so today I am going to talk to you about changing the climate in your home. If you want to have a healthy growing life you must have the right climate. Here is the question:

If you could do one thing in your life that would make it easier for you, your spouse, and your kids to live for God, would you do it? If you knew what that one thing was, would you make that change?

Years ago, when our children were young my husband and I set out on a quest to be great parents. We devoured books on psychology and parenting and came up with so many great ideas that we were going to implement. We read a book called “Freakanomics” and it had some great little ideas. We had some plans. We had some really, good plans. And as life is … not packaged neat and tidy, life was messy.

That first cute little bundle of joy came along, and he screamed from morning to night. But God made him extra cute so that when we had the urge to give him away, we would just take one look at him and fall deeper in love.

We started to figure out how to soothe our baby, what he needed, and what made him happy. But then he became a toddler and all the rules changed.

Then child two came along and every rule we figured out on child one didn’t work on child two.

Child three came along and honestly nothing worked. Life changed. We changed.

Every now and then, I apologize to my kids and inform them that they were 100% a complete experiment. We had absolutely no idea what we were doing. No book can prepare you enough. At times, life was just chaotic.

We tried to put some of the things we read into practice. We were hopeful. One thing we read was play chess with your kids every day to help them develop analytical skills … I’ve not played chess with my kids one time. In fact - I don’t even know how to play. We did play checkers – and that was fun until I started losing and then it just wasn’t fun anymore.

Another tip we read … Don’t just read to your kids but leave books all around the house and keep them readily available and they will become avid readers and seekers of knowledge. So, we did this. The outcome: I have one kid that devours books at a lightning pace and even thinks they make the best decoration. Then my other two, I still bribe with money to try to get them to read.

Another tip was to … Keep musical instruments all over your home and make sure your kids learn to play an instrument. It will also help them develop analytical skills and develop the right side of the brain. You’ll be investing in their future. So, we did.  We signed them up … listened to them practice every single day. And we have attended enough concerts and recitals to last us for years. We most certainly have not created a prodigy. But if we were in a really tight spot, we could put together a very sketchy family band.

This one … Practice math with them continually. I did this with my kids when they were younger. At first, they thought it was a fun game. Then they caught on and didn’t want to play. I told them we would stop when they could say them back without thinking. This was actually a good suggestion.

Finally, Keep healthy food out and easily available for your kids. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed the extreme lengths a child will go to obtain food that is completely void of any nutritional value but children are very resourceful.

Any way you get the point. We tried! There are so many things we do as parents to attempt to develop well rounded, resourceful, bright kids. And, when it comes to extracurricular activities … We did the same.

Our youngest child wants to sign up for absolutely every sport that exists. As a result, we have equipment for nearly every sport that exists. Lacrosse, softball, volleyball, soccer, dance, rock climbing, swimming, diving, skateboarding, gymnastics, mountain biking, tennis, golf, I am sure I am missing something. To prepare for the sport seasons, we spend a LOT of time and money shopping for ALL the things you might need.

Some sports require a chin guard, mouth guards, or knee guards. Some need one glove. Some need two. Some need a helmet. Some need knee socks. Some no socks. There are soft balls, soccer balls, pants, shirts, leotards, bats, gloves, nose plugs, chalk, cleats and of course a BAG to hold it ALL.

We add it to the calendar. We prepare everything the night before. We pack our bags. We make our water bottle. We are added to the parent snack list. Which we add to the family calendar, and we add an alert, so we don’t forget. We make sure we have the practice times and performance times and location and then we set an extra alert so we for sure won’t be LATE. We push EVERYTHING aside to make sure “it” happens. We do all the “things” so that the experience is fun, exciting, not hectic, easy, meaningful, memorable.

 All these things we do we do them to develop our children. Into what? A musician, a writer, a mathematician, a football player, baseball player, a singer, … Because it matters. It matters what we invest in. It matters what we do. It matters what we consciously and subconsciously communicate to our kids. It matters because they take on our VALUES. They love what we love. They put first what WE put first. And we do all of this because we are trying to create a climate for our children to grow, for our children to learn, for our children to be better.

But what about their faith? If you want to change the climate in your home, you must ask the question, Am I being intentional about the house of God? Am I making it easy for my children to Love the House of God? David said in Psalms 27:4 – “One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.”

On Sundays, do we wake up and then question whether we are coming to church? Is the house of God an absolute unconditional pattern of our life? Do our children know the rhythm of our lives and see and hear that God and His house, and His word are of the greatest importance? Do they instinctively know, “This is what we do.” Have we planned and prepared in advance to dwell in the house of the Lord?

Did we push everything else aside to make sure “it” happens? Do we do -all the things- in advance so that the experience is easy, not hectic, but fun, exciting, meaningful, memorable? Is the passion for the house as deep as the passion for all the other things we prepare for?  Do we wake up early, set our alarm, make sure we’re not late? Do we practice at home the things of the house of God in our spare time? Are we diligent in “seeking him in his temple” so that our kids are prepared, and their experience is the best?

My answer, at times, I don’t think I prepared so well. I’m afraid I’ve been busy saying “yes” to and preparing for many of the wrong things. However, we see in the Word of God that moms of the Bible were intentional about creating a climate of faith for instilling truth into their children’s lives. For example, 2 Timothy 1:5 “I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.” In other words, Paul is writing to Timothy telling him, hey, remember the real faith that is in you. It was first in your grandmother and your mother.

It was not an accident that Timothy knew the word of God; it was because of an intentional effort from his grandmother and mom. Paul tells him to stir up that gift of God, which is in you.

In chapter 3:15, he says “From a child, you have known the holy scriptures, which are able to make you wise...” These two women raised him up to both know and love God’s word. They were intentional. They created a climate.

We must be intentional if we want to establish faith in our children. We must prepare. We must make it easy for your kids to LOVE the house of God. That faith, the faith that Timothy had, was passed down from a grandmother to a mother to a child. A child who became a man of faith. Never forget, your children have an enemy who is trying to make it easy for them to walk away from the truth. They have an enemy who is trying to create a climate of sin, a culture of corruption. So, we must ask the question – are we creating a climate for faith?

If you want to change the climate in your home you must-clean out some things. In the gospels there is the story of Jesus entering the temple and driving out those who bought and sold in the temple. He overturned the tables of the money changers who were cheating the people. His house was not being used as a House of Prayer but was a house of corruption. Jesus asked them to do one thing, and they did not do it. He said Make My House a House of Prayer. His House of Prayer was now about making money.

Why did Jesus clean out the temple? Because they had rejected its primary purpose. Before you can clean out some things in your home, before you can change the climate of your home, Mom, you must ask the question, what is the greatest purpose of my home? Is it to make money? Is it to entertain? Is it just a place to sleep and drop your stuff? Or is it to create a place of love where my family can escape the hate of this world?

Is it a place of truth where my family can escape the lies of this world?

Jesus cleaned out the temple to bring it back to its purpose. Are there things in our homes that we need to clean out to bring it back to its purpose? Do you need to clean out some lies? Lies that the enemy has told you about your family? Lies about your family being too dysfunctional? Lies that your husband is not as good as some other husband? Lies that your children aren’t as good as other people’s children?

Here’s the truth, God loves your family. And there is nothing about your family that surprises Him. He put your family together in a unique and special way. The enemy lies and says your family has too many issues, they’re hopeless. The enemy wants you to feel defeated. But God is on your side. He is for you. He is for your marriage. He is for your children. And if God is for us, it does not matter who is against us.

You must make the decision – I am going to clean out the doubt and make my home a house of faith. I am going to clean out the hate and make my home a house of love. I am going to clean out the anxiety and make my home a house of peace. I am going to clean out the destructive patterns and make my home a house of healing.

Let’s be honest ladies, there are things in our homes that are affecting the climate. We want a home of peace, love, and joy. We want a house of prayer. But there are things in our homes we’ve winked at because we think that’s not so bad.

I don’t get to raise my children the way my mother raised me. My mother never had to worry about me going to bed with a cell phone in my hand. She never had to protect me from stumbling onto an inappropriate website. She didn’t have to explain to me what transgender was. The culture has changed. And I don’t get to raise my children the way my mother raised me. Nevertheless, there are principles that were true then that are still true today. And if we want to change the climate in our home our homes must be a house of prayer. Not a house of merchandise or idolatry. Not a house that says we love the world much more than we love God. Our homes must be homes of God’s truth.

Going back to the story of Jesus cleaning out the Temple –He did it because they had distorted its purpose. If you want to change the climate in your home, you must know your purpose.

The writer of Ecclesiastes wrote (1:2) “Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” Think about that for a moment, how much of what we do is meaningless? Yes, I want my girls to play ball, learn piano, and ballet, but is that really the greatest purpose of my home? Yes, I wanted my son to pursue his hobbies, but was that really the greatest purpose of my home? The writer of Ecclesiastes spends 12 chapters searching for the meaning of life. 12 chapters exploring every possibility. Is it to make money? Is it to gain wealth? Is it to be powerful or popular? What is the purpose?

He concludes with these words, “Now all had been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil. This is the purpose of our homes.”

Moses wrote it like this (Deuteronomy 6), “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

If we really want to change the climate in our home. We must teach our children who God is, and how deep his love is for us. Teach your children His commandments when you sit at home, when you take a walk, when you go to bed and when you get up. The bible says we must be doers of his word, not just hearers. We sometimes see what needs to be done and we sometimes know what needs to change, but we just don’t push against the things of this world and the entrapments of the day to day to make the change.

We are called to create God centered homes.

That is our purpose – not just moms, but dads too. We are called to create homes of hope, healing, promise, truth, righteousness. We are called to create homes that are a haven from the evils of this world. Don’t let culture determine the atmosphere of your home, you determine the atmosphere.

Don’t let the enemy determine the climate of your home, you determine the climate.

So, if you are wondering what is the one thing I can change, what is the thing I can remove that keeps me from putting God first for my family? Yes, stay up with the latest trend on how to feed your kids healthy meals. Yes, do your best to help them get good grades in school. Yes, do whatever you can to help them prepare for a great career. But above all else, know that our greatest purpose is to help them learn how to connect with God for themselves, learn how to connect with others in a way that is life giving, and learn how to discover their purpose for life.

Several weeks ago, Elin and I were in the ocean. We jumped waves for hours. At some point we started looking at the beautiful bright blue sky and amazing white clouds and I began to ask her what type of clouds were in the sky. She began to point out different shapes and told me all the things about the clouds. She explained them all in great detail. We just stared at the beautiful sky. All the sudden a massive wave crashed into both of us and suddenly we were swimming trying to come up for air. When we finally came up out of the water and caught our breath we began to laugh. I looked at her and I said, “Elin we got distracted, we had our eyes on the wrong thing.”

Mamas in the house, do we have our eyes on the right thing? Aunts and aunties in the house today, we’ve got a job to do. Do we know it? Grandma, Nona, Grannie, Meme, Godmother’s, Sisters, Daughters, whoever and whatever you are called. We are called. We are commissioned with a purpose.

Sometimes, like the people in the temple, we get our purpose skewed. There may be some areas where we need to be more intentional about protecting our homes. There may be some things we need to clean out. If so, be a mom of action.

We can do this!

Be Lois. Be Eunice. Establish children of Faith.

And, so moms, I challenge you, on this Mother’s Day, don’t let others determine the climate of your home. Don’t let pop-culture determine the atmosphere of your home. You determine the environment! You make the decision as to what the ultimate purpose will be. And, if necessary, like Jesus, clean house.